Sitting with the Unknown
by Cheri Jamison
I would wager that the vast majority of adults spend lots of time and energy trying to control life (unconsciously) so they experience the "unknown" as little as possible. Why? Because it's uncomfortable. It can feel unsafe and scary.
When I was studying spiritual psychology in grad school, my teachers Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick would say, "Control is the master addiction... Often people move into a control pattern because the fear underneath losing control is fear of going insane or losing grip on reality." Pretty heavy stuff!
Yet, it doesn't have to be that way.
A primary tenet of spiritual psychology is "How you go through the issue is the issue." Or said another way, "How you are with yourself as you go through an issue is the issue." It's a matter of attitude, personal awareness, and being gentle with yourself.
During this past year+ of massive transition and faced yet again with more changes, I have done my best to practice this approach as I sit with a lot of things that are unclear. Here are some strategies I've been trying:
What I have discovered in all this is that 1) this is all challenging to do and think about, 2) it's a messy process that never looks like I think it will, and 3) I am surprised at what comes forward, especially what's present is simply grieving what I thought would be instead of what currently is. Much of this has been centered around accepting what is.
The good news is that I feel like I am growing and maturing through this process. I am choosing to see this time of sitting in the "unknown" as an opportunity to wipe the slate clean, dream anew, and set myself on a path that's more aligned with who I am today, not what I thought might happen in the past.
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